Kathleen The Fair Falls To Deathclaw!

Current Vault 551 Status

Population: 72
Overall Happiness: 90% 
Benny Happiness: 100%
Wealth: 226 caps

NOOOO!!!!  NOT THE FAIR KATHLEEN!!!

Luckily, in Fallout Shelter death is really little more than a financial complication, and as Kathleen was so young, her revival was inexpensively achieved.  But she is very unhappy about her own untimely death.

Indeed, the confidence of our entire religious community has been shaken.


This tragedy began with Kathleen and Rebecca The Wise struggling with mild depression in the CoDC Chapel Bar.  Both at 75% happiness, nothing seemed to relieve their sour moods.

Rebecca wanted a puppy.  Kathleen is in the Sanctuary, crying hysterically and throwing things.

So, okay: a depressant isn't always the best thing for chasing the blues away.

In Fallout Shelter, one major factor in determining Dweller happiness is how suited they are to their jobs.  Kathleen and Rebecca aren't working right now, but there are some job openings down in the new Vault garden.  They both have Agility 2, so they should be fine, perhaps good enough to bump them up to the low-mid 80s for happiness.

Meanwhile, the Church of the Divine Copulation is gradually starting to form some basic rules for conducting business.  They're rough, but you have to start somewhere.  Here they are in their current form:

1.  All procreation in Vault 551 will happen under these laws, under threat of excommunication, banishment from the Vault and (in the most severe circumstances) death.

2.  Timing of CoDC "sacraments" will be based on the happiness levels of the existing CoDC hierarchy, starting with Father Benny himself.  Father Benny must always remain at 100% happiness: this is the core of our true faith.  When Father Benny dips below 100% happiness for any reason, the time has come for administering the holy sacraments.

3.  One of the other church leaders (i.e., wearer of Initiate Robes) may deliver the sacrament if a) Father Benny is currently at 100% happiness or cannot deliver the sacrament due to inbreeding risk, and b) the church leader in question is below 85% happiness and does not face inbreeding risk.  Sacrament delivery for non-Benny church leaders is not mandatory, regardless of happiness level.

4.  Any child of a church leader other than Father Benny will be considered an illegitimate child of Benny himself, and is not eligible to receive Initiate Robes.

5.  Any legitimate child of Father Benny may receive the Initiate Robes, if they have a natural Charisma at birth of at least 2.

Rules subject to change as Father Benny receives divine direction from Vault Boy.

And so.

Kathleen and Rebecca's move to the gardens did nothing to make either any happier.  It was clear that they both wanted one thing: to be back on the air, back broadcasting on the Vault 551 radio station.  The station had been shut down ever since the Deathclaw attacks, and in the time since we've worked hard to improve Vault defense.  The top two levels of the Vault are now heavily armed, prepared for another round of slaughter from those terrible creatures from hell.

Deathclaws.  You're what's for dinner!

So to keep our Blessed Family from being bummed and whiny all the time - not to mention spare the breakage of various valuable items in Kathleen's path - we brought the radio station back online.

What I didn't know until today, from reading one of those helpful loading screen tips, is that the radio station does more than recruit new Dwellers.  It also gradually pumps Happy into the Vault's air, bringing everyone's happiness rating up a bit, which in turn makes people more productive.  So as soon as the Wacky Zoo Morning Crew got back on the air, Kathleen and Rebecca started smiling a bit more.  Crisis managed!

Yes, running the radio station increases Deathclaw attack risk, but we're pretty well armed now.  Guards in front have been replaced with highly trained, high level killing machines, carrying the biggest hole punchers we have.  The whole top two levels are armed to the teeth.  Yes, the radio station is on the second level as well, but we should be okay.  Happiness is worth it.

And then, BOOM.  Second Deathclaw attack.  Three of them.

They came crashing through the Vault door and front chamber, took a lot of damage from our greeting crew, and then slammed hard through WRU-1.  More damage to the Deathclaws, no fatalities on our end.  Then they dropped through to the radio station.  Everyone managed to evacuate quickly except for Kathleen, who bravely (but stupidly) decided to stay behind and defend the Holy Record Collection alone with her Scoped .45.  And fight she did.

And they had her for breakfast.

The Claws then moved through the second floor power station and mess hall, until the front door guards managed to cut them off and cut them down.

Final tallies: three dead Deathclaws, two fatalities on our end.  A power room engineer, and our beloved Kathleen the Fair.  Luckily we had the caps to revive them both, but being so cruelly taught the truth of her own mortality had taken a steep toll on Kathleen.  Happiness plummeted to 4%.

Okay, clearly the radio station on level 2 is a hazard.  Shutting it down permanently.  Room dismantled, empty space left for an undetermined use in the future.  A new radio station is now being built on level 9, far from the potential path of Deathclaw massacres.  However, it will take some time to upgrade it to the equal or better of our old station.  And in the meantime, Kathleen's mild depression has dropped into a suicidal misery.  She's on close watch.

This is not the only blow taken today by the Church of the Divine Copulation.  Shortly after the Deathclaw attack on Kathleen the Fair, the CoDC Bar Chapel was attacked by a radroach infestation.  Unfortunately, Father Benny was drinking there at the time.

I.. DON'T.. NEED.. THIS.. TODAY!!

The Father was lightly injured in the attack but in the end, was able to put an end to the radroach heresy and attack on the faith with his handy shotgun.  Between this and Kathleen's death, however, Father Benny's happiness took a small hit, down to 99%.

This represented the first practical application of the new Church precepts, in particular rule #2.  Anything less than a 100% happy Father Benny is sacrilege and cannot be tolerated.  Shaken by these recent events, Church leaders escorted the Father back to the Sanctuary, where Alice Hart had been summoned only minutes before from the game room downstairs.

Father Benny delivers the holy sacraments to Alice Hart.

And so, we are proud to announce that Father Benny is once again 100% happy.  Alice Hart is pregnant and currently resting once again in the game room.  Kathleen The Fair is working to get the new radio station up and running with Rebecca The Wise, and both are slowly regaining their confidence and are under constant care as their happiness climbs out of the sewer.

Finally, our two Wasteland explorers are now on their way back to the Vault with huge stores of clothes, guns and money.  They should both be back by the morning, and then it's time to upgrade everyone and reevaluate our Vault defenses.